Sausages
by itsalollapalooza23
Summary: A collection of drabbles centering around the life of a mischievous and cheerful little dog named Lolla, and the mayhem she causes to everyone around her. Very funny. Very random. You'll need some Maltesers and Coke to go along with it! Do the RRE: Read, Review, and Enjoy! UPDATE: Rating has been changed.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi guys! Welcome to yet another story! Do the RRE: Read, Review, and Enjoy! :D**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own PoM or anything you see. If I did, the world would be different. For starters, there'd be no bad people, no suffering, peace all around, more chocolate, meatballs, and of course, a bigger and better timeslot for PoM!**

* * *

**Helping**

"Oh Kowalski!"

Kowalski opened the door to his lab at the sound of the voice.

"Hello Lolla. What do you want?"

"Um," the small tan-and-brown-haired Yorkshire terrier named Lolla began hesitantly. "Can you help me with something?"

"Sure. What do you need help in?" asked Kowalski. "Research? Homework?"

"Well, in a way."

"You don't need to worry. After all, I'm here to help you." Kowalski said reassuringly.

"Okay," agreed Lolla. "I was wondering, which band-aid is best for my foot wound?" She held up some band-aids in several different shapes and sizes.

_Oh, geez_, Kowalski thought while facepalming.

"I was thinking about using the circle one, but what do you think?"

**Remote **

"Give me that remote!"

Skipper and Lolla wrestled each other for the remote. If Skipper snatched it, Lolla would grab it back, then Skipper would steal it back, but Lolla would grab it away from him. The poor remote was stolen and taken and slipped away every time their paw/flipper managed to get a hold of it.

Brother and sister rolled around the ground of the subterranean HQ in a ball of fury, somehow managing to wrestle the remote from each other and argue at the same time.

"Give me that remote!"

"No way!"

"But Shirtless Ninja Action Theater's on!"

"I wanna watch Pororo!"

"No!"

Suddenly the two siblings heard a _click_, and the sound of the movie Toy Story 2. They faced the television which MSS was now watching.

"W-wha—?" Skipper and Lolla sputtered in unison.

"Easy," replied MSS. "There're buttons on the TV."

**Logic**

Private walked into Lolla's room. Lolla and MSS were gathered in front of Lolla's netbook.

"Hello Lolla, MSS," he greeted. He peered over at the netbook. "What're you looking at?"

"Pancakes," Lolla replied, smiling.

"Really? Why?" asked Private.

"Cause we're hungry," MSS answered.

"But, wouldn't that make you even hungrier?"

"Exactly," Lolla and MSS said in unison.

Private blinked slowly in confusion, then shrugged and walked out Lolla's room. "Okay. Have fun with that, then."

Private sighed and shook his head. He would never understand his sisters' logic.

**Argument 1**

Lolla suddenly burst into the lemurs' habitat one morning, when Maurice was busy blending smoothies for King Julien.

"Maurice!" she called.

He raised his eyes from the blender. "Oh, hey Lolla. Mornin'." He greeted.

"Yeah, you too. Hey, can I have a mango? A ripe one, the yellow one please?" She requested.

"Sure." He tossed her the mango from the pile of fruits he was supposed to be blending. Lolla caught it with ease.

"Thanks!"

"No prob."

King Julien unfortunately overheard the two's conversation. He was annoyed that Maurice had shared _his _royal fruits with a _commoner_. He sprinted over to the bar.

"Maurice! Be explaining for yourself!" He yelled at the aye-aye lemur.

"Explain what, your Majesty?"

"Be explaining why you are giving _my _food to this commony commoner!"

"This 'commony commoner' commonly pounds people who insult her." Lolla announced, cracking her paw-knuckles.

"It's just one fruit, your Majesty. I can get you a new one." Maurice offered.

"Yeah," said Lolla. "I think we can get some over from the Philippines! See, that mango can be imported!"

"No! I am not accepting fruit from a lowly commoner!" King Julien huffed. He strode away regally, leaving behind a bemused Maurice and a fuming Lolla.

"Well, fine! Be that way!" She shouted after him. "You just lost one imported mango, buddy!"

Angrily, she stomped away, mango in paw.

Maurice shook his head slightly and sighed. These two argued almost every time they came into contact with each other. But he knew it would blow off soon. Oh so very soon.

**Troll 1**

"Hey Kowalski!" said Lolla.

The tall penguins turned.

"Yes Lolla?"

"Did you hear about the idiot who sounds like an owl?" She asked.

"Who?"

Lolla snickered. Kowalski suddenly realized that he got trolled. He facepalmed himself for being so off-guard.

**Troll 2**

Lolla watched as MSS logged on Facebook.

"Mm, my profile picture won't show up," Lolla told MSS. "Try pressing Alt and F4." Then she walked away.

MSS watched her leave, than pressed the said buttons, causing her window to close.

Lolla peeked in to see MSS with her head on the desk, successfully trolled.

**Troll 3**

Lolla was sitting at the entrance to Kowalski's lab, browsing through the internet.

"'scuse me," said Rico, startling Lolla slightly. Rico was going in Kowalski's lab because he left Ms. Perky in there.

"Oh, sorry." Lolla replied, moving from the doorway. Rico smiled in thanks, and just when he was about to go in Lolla stepped inside, preventing him from going in further. Rico looked confused and annoyed.

"Sorry, Rico! But you just got trolled!" laughed Lolla, sprinting out the lab.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading guys! Please review! :D**

**Question of the Chapter: What's your favorite kind of cookie?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for not updating sooner. I was busy and stuff but never mind that, cause I've got another batch of drabbles for you to enjoy. Like a cookie! Cookies come in batches! **

**Skipper: Just shut up and get on with the story!**

**Me: Why don't **_**you**_** trying clamming up first?**

**Skipper: MAKE ME!**

**Me: OH, I'LL MAKE YOU ALL RIGHT!**

**Skipper & Me: *fight***

**Kowalski: *sighs* Not again. Please read and review while I try to stop them. *tries to pull me off Skipper* Knock it off!**

* * *

**Addiction**

One of the many things Kowalski would never understand was Lolla's infernal addiction to chocolate. Not to mention suicidal, as chocolate was fatal for dogs. But he had fixed that; he created a serum for Lolla that prevented the chemicals in chocolate to affect her. Yet, the serum had backfired—as had each and every one of his inventions. The serum's side effects had Lolla be addicted to _everything _sweet. Cupcakes, donuts, ice cream, butterscotch, maple syrup—she's been there.

_CRASH!_

And then there was the issue of sugar rushes...

**Lazy**

"Skipper, I'm bored!" complained Lolla.

The aforementioned penguin did not pause from browsing through some confidential mission files.

"Then play outside."

"But there's no one to play with!"

"How 'bout Sad Eyes?"

"He's too much of a dunderhead for my prolific intellect!"

"Whoa, stop the nerd talk or you'll end up like Kowalski. Then, go over to Marlene's for some girl talk or something."

"I don't feel like it."

"Then read something!"

"Like those old mission files?"

"No way, no how sister!"

"Aw..."

"Then... lie on the floor or something."

"But that's boring!"

"I thought you said you were bored!"

"Now I'm not, 'cause it was fun bothering you!"

* * *

Moments later, when Private was back from recon, he noticed Lolla laughing while she was running.

"Lolla? Why're you running?"

"No time to explain. Later!"

Then he saw Skipper running after her. Private sighed. Just another average day at the HQ.

**Sisters**

Skipper can easily sum his sister in one situation:

"Lolla, make sure _not_ to press _that_ red button while we're gone, okay?"

"Why not?"

"It's the self-destruct button for the HQ."

"Oh."

Later, when they returned... the whole zoo was outside, examining what remained of their HQ. Lolla stood awkwardly off to the side. Skipper waddled up to her, with a look that said "You're an idiot".

"You pressed the button, didn't you?"

"MSS was tempting me!"

Skipper sighed.

"I need an aspirin..." He muttered, resting his head on his flipper as Lolla offered a sheepish grin.

**Distracted**

"Okay, Lolla, to solve this equation you have to move the decimal point—Lolla, are you even listening?" Kowalski queried. It wasn't the first time his little sister drifted off when he was helping him with her homework.

"Huh? What?" Lolla snapped back to attention.

"You're drifting off again."

"Sorry, I was just watching that little worm over there on the wall."

"A worm?"

"Yeah, that brownish one over there."

"That's an inchworm. But why were you distracted by that little worm?"

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I know. It's way too short and weirdly-written. Sorry! **

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm back! Welcome to another chapter of randomness! YEAH! PEANUT BUTTER! I LOVE IT!**

**Skipper: Ladies and gentlemen, my sister when she's hyper.**

**Me: WOOAH WOOAH WOOAH HEY! OLE!**

**Skipper: *sighs* Please read while I try to get her under control. **

**CRASH!**

**Me: HEY! WHY IS SKIPPER ON A PONY? AND WHY IS KOWALSKI SHAKING HANDS WITH A MARTIAN MUSTARD BOTTLE?**

**Skipper: NO! NOT THE CONFIDENTIAL MISSION FILES! *turns to readers* You didn't see anything...**

* * *

**Talent**

Burt listened to Lolla singing.

"Boy, Skipper, your sister's got some great singing talent, huh?"

Skipper smirked.

"What can I say? It runs in the family."

**Door**

"... and don't open it to _anyone_, comprende? Not to a puffin, not to a leopard seal, not to a dolphin, _especially _not to a lemur, not even if we say it's us. For all you know they might be imposters and take over the zoo, and possibly all of Manhattan for that matter."

"Mm-hm," murmured Lolla, not really paying attention. Skipper didn't notice.

"Now, we won't have to say it's us because we have a key. That means it's _really _us, and not those imposters."

"Um, Skipper?" Kowalski squeaked. The penguins were going out on a very important mission, and they mustn't be late for it.

"Not now Kowalski. I'm giving reminders for the little one."

"'Little one'?" Lolla looked up from her netbook, insulted.

"Anyway, don't open the door under _any _circumstances." Skipper said.

"But what if I ordered a pizza or something?" asked Lolla.

"Rico?" Skipper said nodding at his weapons man. Rico regurgitated a hammer and began smashing the telephone. When he was done, all that remained was a smoldering pile of wires. Lolla grimaced and pouted at the same time.

"Aw man..."

"Just in case our enemies call us and you stupidly say we're out, therefore they will come and hold you for ransom." Skipper said.

"Since when did your enemies ever call you?"

"Just in case." He repeated.

"Um, Skipper?" Private said.

"Not now Private. And no TV." Skipper nodded again at Rico, who swallowed the TV*.

"But _why_?!" Lolla screamed. This was getting too much for her.

"Just in case our enemies call us from it."

"Um, Skipper?" Kowalski and Private called together.

"_What?!_" The leader shouted in annoyance.

"We should get going now." Kowalski said sheepishly. Private nodded.

"Yeah. Can't be late for our mission." Private said.

"But—oh, all right." Skipper grunted.

The team made their way topside. Skipper's head popped out of the hole.

"Don't open the door to anyone!" The other three penguins pulled him up, but the leader resisted and popped out of the hole again.

"We'll be back at exactly 1600 hours." His team pulled him up again. His head popped out again.

"And don't you dare try that tar and feather prank when we get back." His team pulled him up once more, this time for good. The fishbowl hole shut.

_Topside_

"... All right. Do we have food supplies?"

"Check!" Private chirped, holding up a ziplock bag filled with some fish, Peanut Butter Winkies and more.

"How about the key to the HQ?"

"Che—wait..." Kowalski said. He checked his back pockets.

"Um... not check." He said finally.

The other three penguins did a synchronized facepalm, er, face_flipper_.

"You left it in the HQ, didn't you?" Skipper said.

Kowalski smiled sheepishly, earning a slap from the leader.

_In the HQ..._

_Knock knock._

"Huh?" Lolla looked up again from her netbook.

"Lolla!" A voice called. "It's me, Skipper."

"No."

"Open the door!"

"I'm not allowed to open the door under _any _circumstances." Lolla said smugly. She knew it was Skipper all along.

"_Lolla!_"

**Heritage**

"Hey, Maurice." The Yorkshire terrier approached the aye-aye lemur who was cleaning up the bar.

"Oh, hey Lolla." He replied, glancing up briefly.

"Have you seen Ringtail—I mean, Julien?" Lolla covered her mouth with her paw in embarrassment.

Maurice laughed. "You're turning into your brother Lolla. Better stop before you become paranoid!"

"Dang." Lolla muttered.

**Nicknames**

"What's up, Commander Cuckoo?"

Skipper cringed at the nickname. Annoying Thing About Lolla # 72: she had lots of nicknames for him. Heck, she even wrote down a list!

"What are you doing, General Lee Insane**?" Lolla said again. Skipper rolled his eyes in annoyance and continued reading his morning newspaper, occasionally taking a sip from his precious coffee mug.

"Hey, Skipper-chan, I thought you couldn't read. And where do you get that paper anyway, Snowcone Man?"

"Shut it, Lolla-pop."

Lolla was silent for a while. Just when Skipper thought he won, Lolla replied, "You're no good at the name-calling business, are ya, President Paranoid?"

**Cookies**

_There_, Skipper thought. He finished wrapping the bright red ribbon around a small plastic bag of peanut-butter-and-chocolate-chip cookies, Marlene's favorite. He had baked them especially for her birthday.

_Now all I need is a tag to go along with it. _The leader penguin looked in a box of crafting supplies for a likely one.

Moments later, he had found one. It was a vanilla-colored tag with red trims. It even came along with a small ribbon for tying it around strings. When he looked back at the table where he had placed the cookies, said food was gone. He immediately turned at Lolla, who was resting on her doggie bed close by.

"You ate the cookies, didn't you?" He narrowed his eyes.

Lolla let out a burp and wiped her mouth with her paw. "One does not simply bake sweet goodies whilst I am around."

* * *

**A/N: So I realized I had forgotten to put a Question of the Chapter last time. Sorry! That means... double questions for today! Thanks for reading and please review!**

**And yes, the last drabble has Skilene in it. Go Skilene! Sorry if you don't like the pairing though.**

*** I figured this is possible since Rico regurgitated a rocket in The Big S.T.A.N.K.**

**** If you haven't figured it out yet, this nickname sounds like 'generally insane'.**

**Questions of the Chapter:**

**What/ who is your favorite band/artist?**

**Who is your favorite PoM character? **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry for not up-a-dating sooner-**

**Skipper: Stop saying that already!**

**Me: I can't! I can't control it! It's like Blowhole calling you guys pen-goo-ins! By the way, this isn't beta-ed, so it probably sucks more than a vacuum cleaner. **

**DISCLAIMER: All right... from hence forth I shall _always _put disclaimers in my stories or chapters. Now, who'll do it today? Hm, oh Private!**

**Private: Yes, Lolla?**

**Me: Do the disclaimer please.**

**Private: Okay. Itsalollapalooza23 doesn't own the Penguins of Madagascar, TUFF Puppy, or Tom & Jerry. Not even mutant marshmallows.**

**Me: What? There aren't any mutant marshmallows here! **

**Private: *shrugs* You never know.**

**Me: O-kay... ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

**Ironic**

"... He's a TUFF Puppy! TUFF Puppy! He's a TUFF Puppy!"

Isn't it ironic that Skipper disliked cartoons although he is in one?

**Rebel**

"_Lolla! 86 that music!_"

"I don't care about rule number 6*!"

**Nightmare**

_Skipper ran through a large hedge maze. It was dark and dim, and it seemed to be around midnight. Needles sprouted out of the hedges, their gleaming tips sharp and menacing. Panting, he dashed around a corner and—the path ended. At the end of the maze was his long-time foe, Dr. Blowhole. The one-eyed dolphin grinned evilly._

"_Why, hello pen-goo-in," Skipper gritted his teeth at the sound of that _annoying _nickname._

"_Blowhole! What do you want?"_

"_This is a nightmare, Skipper," the genius muttered, rolling his eye. "This isn't happening in real life. It's all just in your little paranoid pen-goo-in head."_

"_Stop calling me that!"_

"_Anyway," Blowhole continued, ignoring Skipper. "I'm going to bring out your worst nightmares, and you'll have to fight them all on your own!" Blowhole's famous (or was it infamous?) evil laugh followed._

"_Whatever, sea-mammal. I can defeat them all easily." The penguins dropped into fighting stance._

"_Ah, but this nightmare is something, or rather, some_one_, you'd never expect!" Another evil laugh._

"_Yeah? Bring it on!" Skipper challenged._

_Blowhole merely chuckled, and stepped away to reveal a small, hooded figure behind him. The figure stepped forward and removed its hood. What Skipper saw certainly shocked him._

"_Lolla?!"_

_The Yorkshire terrier smiled devilishly, her dark brown eyes locked on Skipper._

"_I AM YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE." She announced in a demonic voice. She cackled wickedly._

_Suddenly, the hedges hardened into walls. And they closed around Skipper. Closer and closer they went. The penguin was frozen with fear._

"_N-no—!"_

Skipper suddenly woke up. He was panting and sweating heavily. He calmed himself down, then looked over at Lolla's pet bed, where said sister was sleeping.

_She looks so innocent, sleeping over there like that_, Skipper thought.

"Lolla?" He nudged the Yorkie.

"Huh? What do you want Skipper?" Lolla rubbed her eyes sleepily.

"I hate you." With that, Skipper fell back on his bed, falling sleep once more.

Lolla smiled, repositioning her pillow so it covered an invention she stole from Kowalski's lab: _The Dream Tapper_.

**Mean**

When people read Lolla's stories, they often questioned Lolla's mean behavior to her brother Skipper. After all, wasn't he older? What ever happened to "respect your elders"?

But to them, Lolla only offered a simple reply:

"It's a sister thing."

**Show-off**

"Argh!" Lolla grunted as she descended the ladder. "I can never get the hang of volleyball!"

She threw the volleyball at Kowalski, who caught it easily.

He stood and began to control the ball, having no problem at all. He reached twenty, fifty, almost a hundred repetitions. Then he spiked the ball at the wall. It bounced right back at him and he threw it at Lolla, who looked stunned. She scowled.

"Show-off!"

"Kowalski!" Skipper's voice came from the other room. "A quarter in the show-off jar, please!"

"But I didn't—!"

"The red jar's for showing off your intelligence," Skipper interrupted. "I'm talking about the blue jar. That's for physical abilities."

Kowalski scowled as well and dropped a quarter in a jar with only a few coins inside.

"Serves you right." Lolla whooped.

**Afraid**

_CRASH!_

"GAH!"

"Don't worry, Lolla. They're just reconstructing our habitat."

"...Do you really have to have those dynamite tests?"

**Insomnia**

"Lolla? What time did you wake up?"

She glanced at Private with tired eyes. She smiled weakly.

"I _might've_ pulled an all-nighter again."

**Siblings**

Some siblings are like Tom and Jerry.

They tease each other:

"_Ha, you call that a good serve?"_

"_Says you. You don't even know the value of pi!"_

"_I just don't get it. How can you multiply a number by a pastry?"_

They irritate each other:

"_Hey, Skippykins!"_

"_What's new Demon Dog?"_

"_What's new with you, Twinkle Toes?"_

"_No, what's new with _you_, Lolla-pop?"_

But they can't live without each other:

"_Skipper! We're out of chocolate again!"_

"_Lolla! We're having another five-man operation today!"_

...Sort of.

* * *

**A/N: See Private? No mutant marshmallows here!**

**Private: There might be next chapter.**

**Me: Who knows? Maybe. Review guys!**

**Question of the Chapter: **

**What song is currently stuck in your head?**

*** This is a reference to the fanfic "10 Things I Would Do If I Ruled the Zoo. Rule 6 reads: "There would be not permission for ANYONE to play, dance or sing to ANY music between the hours of 12 am-11:59 am. Yes ringtail, I'm talking to you. *stern glance*"**


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